Magic Mayhem
by Solei Dragheart
Summary: Hearth and Blitz dropped off their kids for me to babysit. Easy, right? Wrong. You think that four teenagers could successfully do it. Well Kinda. This is a one - shot. I own nothing except the plot and some and three OCs. Everything else goes to the great Uncle Rick.


Magic Mayhem

Looking around my room I wondered what the Helheim happened in the few hours my elf and dwarf dropped a trio of kids for me to babysit. And if I would ever be turned back to normal.

I should probably back up a bit, introduce myself and explain. My name is Magnus Chase. I died when I heroically fell off a bridge, and became an Einherji in the All Father's army of honorable dead. Now, I'm about to tell you the story of how utter mayhem broke loose in my hotel suite. That is, if I can even figure out what the Hel happened to begin with.

I woke up this morning thinking about all the possible things I could do until it was time to go out to Battle in the Hotel's extremely large battlefield. I got up and dressed in a pair of jeans, a green HV t-shirt and a denim jacket along with a pair of converse sneakers. Then I grabbed Jack and went to breakfast.

For those of you who forgot, Jack is my trusty, floating, talking and singing sword.

Jack used to be my Dad's sword before trading him so he could marry a frost giantess. Dumb idea, I know. Jack, unlike normal weapons can sing, rhyme and give you a full Brazilian waxing treatment. Oh, and he speaks Spanish too. I think.

I headed out the door and met Alex on my way to breakfast. "Morning Maggie." Alex greeted.

"Good morning Alex. Are you female at the moment?" I asked. I always made it a point to ask Alex her gender when I saw her. Even if I had this uncanny ability to guess her gender in one go.

"Yep. Still female." Alex confirmed. "Have anything planned for today?"

"Not yet. Do you have something in mind?" I asked. But then I quickly added, "If it's another practice session, no. Just no."

Ever since my cousin Annabeth met Alex, the two have made it their mission to turn me into a decent swordsman. Annabeth started it really. When me and Alex met up with her and Percy to talk, we got attacked some snake women. She found it very pathetic that I made Jack do all the work.

"I cannot believe you are related to me!" My cousin scolded me. "Didn't fighting to the death on a battlefield teach you anything?" Alex then replied, "Nah. Jack doesn't help him much and he's too busy trying to stay alive out there to learn much." Percy tried to intervene by saying, "Even if he does get to be revived in the end, I don't think dying is something you would want."

"Zip it Seaweed Brain!" Annabeth said vehemently.

"Zipping it." Percy said quickly before turning to the blue cookies he brought. On a quick side note, those cookies were damn good! I would have to go back to his place and ask his mother for more.

So now whenever she got the chance, Annabeth would make me come to New York and pound sword fighting Do's and Don'ts into my brain and Alex would make sure I practiced them all. Jack, curse him, was on their side, offering to fight me as a practice opponent.

Percy, bless his soul, tried his best to weasel me out of it. It didn't really work. Not at all. But Percy watered down Annabeth's speech into English for me. Then he took me out for Falafel l in the end from time to time. So that was an added bonus.

Back to the present, Alex was now shaking her head. "Nah. I really don't feel like it." I inwardly sighed in relief. "I was thinking a movie would be good. Or just anything that's not about penguins and cats as the maid of honour and best man at a wedding."

I was about to comment when I decided to shut up about. It's none of my business. "Okay. I was thinking about comedy or something. "

"Hey, how about, Guardians of the Galaxy?" Alex asked.

"Hmmm," I pretended to think about it. "Sure why not?"

With that all said the two of us headed down to go get breakfast with a side dish of death. Yum yum yum.

After breakfast, we headed into Alex's room, to get some snacks and drinks before moving into my room. "Okay, I'm finished setting up the snacks and drinks. Have you fixed the movie up Maggie?" Alex asked. I replied from my spot in front of the TV. "One sec. Okay, now I'm finished." With that being done, I got up and headed over to Alex on the couch.

Just as I was about to turn the movie on, there was a loud knock from the door. "Ughhh!" I complained. Couldn't I watch a movie without being interrupted? "Coming!" Alex called. Then being the good person she is, she kicked me off the couch.

"Your suite, you open the door." I sent her an annoyed look and went to go open the door. I was about to ask what the heck was wrong, when I saw who it was. Standing in front of me was my Dad.

Yes, dear friends, you read this right. Frey was at my door.

"Magnus!" Frey began "It's been a while. How have you –"I tackled him in a hug. It was kind of a like a greeting between me and him. Whenever we see each other, I get a hug. Frey was okay with it too. Probably because we don't see each other often. Since our first meeting, I only met him on two other occasions. Both because he wanted to make sure I was doing okay. Now, I know I said I am not a fan of physical contact, but he is family.

I try to give him and Annabeth a hug just in case I never get the chance to give them another one. Or, if they never get the chance to see me again. Ever. Frey smiled at me and hugged me back. Then from behind him, a familiar voice said, "Awww. That's so cute."

Once I let go, I saw Annabeth and Percy standing behind him. "Hey Cousin." Annabeth greeted and I hugged her too. "Sup," Percy said. "I'm not going to hug you but I will shake your hand." I said for a greeting.

After that I finally had the brains to ask, "So what are you guys doing here?"

"Aren't the living banned from entering Valhalla?" Alex asked from behind, still on the couch.

Frey answered both of our questions. "Yes but, I gave them my hall pass. " Then he said to me, "As for why they are here, I happened to come across Annabeth in Central Park, New York. It did not take her long to figure out who I was and then asked if you were doing well. I decided to bring her over so she could come see you herself."

Then he jabbed a thumb at Percy and said, "The sassy one was insistent on coming." Percy being Percy, he took a bow. "Where she goes, I go." He said. "Oh, so if she was to go stand in a random 'To the Death activity'," I said, "would you do it too?" Before Percy retort, Frey was giving me a pat on the back and said, "That's my son."

"Hold on a sec." Alex interrupted while getting up from her seat on the couch, "Annabeth, aren't you supposed to be designing a dining hall and the Demeter Cabin?" Percy had told us what happened with a forty foot buck naked statue of Emperor Nero.

Alex had found it hilarious. On her behalf, I would like to say that she knows that it isn't nice to laugh when other people are about to die. She claimed, and I quote, "Sorry, sorry. The incident reminded me of Attack on Titans." And then she went off again. If you think about, my life kinda is like that anime. Except the giants I fight have the decency to wear some clothing.

"Well, you kids have fun." Frey said. "I have an appointment with your Grandfather." With that he disappeared in a cloud of dust. "Who's your grandfather?" Percy asked. Alex was quick to answer, "Frey's father is Njord, God of the seas and fishing. Those are his main areas anyways."

Annabeth spoke up. "I can totally see him and Poseidon fishing for sea monsters and talking about the latest fishing techniques and gear. " I could totally agree with her on that. I mean, if my Dad can sit in a bar talking to Apollo, then yeah it could happen. And before you ask how I know about that incident, Jack told me.

Jack came back drunk on mead one night and started ranting about how Apollo kept telling him to shut up. I don't know how he got drunk. I didn't know he _could_ get drunk! I didn't think he had lips. Or a throat. Or a digestive system for that matter.

Alex and I invited Annabeth and Percy to watch our movie with us and catch up on what was going on in our normal lives. Mine and Alex's life included a lot of death. Their lives included a lot of stupid Percy acts and Annabeth getting mad at him.

Halfway through the movie, there was a loud crash. Since we were all accustomed to random monster attacks, we all jumped to our feet, weapons drawn only to see my favourite Dwarf and Elf crash down with some kids.

Blitz was wearing a very stylish pale yellow three piece suit while Hearth was wearing a white t – shirt, his black jacket, hiking boots, a pair of black pants and his favourite candy stripped scarf. As we came closer, we could hear Blitz apologizing to the three kids about the landing. "I said I'm sorry!" Alex then playfully at them, "Don't scare us like that!"

Hearth signed us an apology, " _We are very sorry about that. The kids threw us off on the landing."_ One of the kids, a little girl who was probably ten, gave Hearth a light kick before signing back, " _We certainly did not! Mr. Blitz thought it was Ratatosk and pushed us!"_

"Umm, Blitz, Hearth, why are there kids with you. You never said anything about adoption." I asked. Hearth shrugged while Blitz explained. "Adoption isn't far from the truth. These three kids needed someone to look after them, so we decided to do it."

Hearth pointed to Annabeth and asked, " _Is that your cousin Annabeth Magnus?"_

"Yep. Annabeth, that's Hearthstone and the short guy, is Blitzen." The two of them greeted her before I continued. "Blitz, Hearth, Annabeth Chase, Daughter of Athena. The other guy is Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon." Alex then crouched in front of the kids, "So, I'm Alex Fierro, child of Loki. Can I know your names?"

The girl from before signed, " _My name is Caraway. Please call me Cara though."_ Cara had platinum blond hair like Hearth did. Her gold eyes screamed mischief. She dressed like a normal human ten year old would. She wore a denim jacket over a white shirt with a pair of shorts. Blitz added, "She can't talk." Ah. So that explained the ASL.

The next kid was a boy who looked around nine.His hair was dark brown and his eyes were a deep chocolate brown. His skin looked like he stood in the sun for over an hour. He wore a clean pair of overalls over a green tee, along with a pair of work boots. "Name's Copper. Pleasure to meet you all."

Lastly was the kid with the dark shades and the walking stick. He kinda scared me a bit. He dressed like a mini Assassin. Everything he wore was black. Shirt, jacket, boots, pants, you name it. But his hair was a shade blond platinum, giving him a splash of colour. "My name is Sky." Hearth signed out. " _He is blind."_

"So," Percy started, "I know we just met, but what happened that you're looking after them?"

Blitz soon began to explain everything with Hearth signing in the details he forgot. Cara and Sky were elves and went to Mimir to see if they could learn runestone magic after news spread about Hearth and his Runestone Magic endeavours. Their back story was similar to Hearth's except they didn't have a dead sibling that was killed by a creature that pees into a well.

For Cara, her parents were willing to sell her soul to save their other daughter from death, but Frey took pity on her and spared her soul. Of course he didn't let her parents go skipping through a field of flowers either. He gave them some super punishment neither Hearth nor Blitz would mention.

Sky on the other hand, witnessed his family almost get killed. Some fire giants were torching his backyard. So, he traded his sight so he could learn how to cast rune magic. He was going blind anyways so he didn't think much of it. I think that is a very disturbing way to dismiss your sight.

As for Copper, his parents died in a fire and none of his relatives were willing to take him. So Blitz decided to take him in because his parents were close family friends. If you ask me, I don't think he wanted to think about the kid living with people who didn't want him and later regret doing nothing about it. So yeah. Blitz and Hearth are now the happy parents of three lovely kids. The five of them are currently living in Blitz's apartment close to his store.

"This brings us to the present." Blitz said at the end. "We need a bigger apartment for this family." Hearth took it up from here as he began to sign, " _We already went to many different apartments. We found a good one but now we need to go sort out the paper work."_

"So you need us to babysit them for a few hours." Alex guessed. "Yep." The dwarf confirmed. "It'll take about two hours or so." I never babysat before, but these kids were about ten years old. What's the worst that could happen?

"Sure thing guys." I answered. I turned to Annabeth and Percy and I asked, "You don't mind do you? " Annabeth shook her head and Percy said, "Nah, its fine man. Besides, it's babysitting, not sword fighting."

With that said Blitz and Hearth made their way to the tree and said to their children, "Now you three be good. We'll be back soon." Hearth signed to me, " _Would it be okay if Cara and Sky practice some Rune magic_?" I signed back, " _Of course man. There's no problem_."

Hearth signed a few more instructions towards the kids before Blitz dragged him off.

I turned to look at the kids and awkwardly asked, "So, is there anything you want to do?"

Copper was the first to answer. "Umm, could you teach me some sign language? Mr. Blitz is teaching me but since I have some free time, I might as well not let it go to waste." Since I could sign fluently then the others I agreed to help him. "Thank you." He said. "You have no idea how awkward a conversation with Mr. Hearth and Cara get."

"What about you two? " Percy asked. Annabeth also added, "Could you show me some rune magic?" Being the daughter of a wisdom goddess, Annabeth was very curious. When she first learned about the Norse gods, she asked me everything I knew about the gods. I told her as much as I could, which at the moment was not a lot. Then she went home and spent an hour so looking up Norse myths. She told me back then that all the myths were true. So she sent me a detailed version of each and every myth she found and forced me to read it.

Sky and Cara looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Since Alex was also learning sign language from me, I took her and Copper to my bedroom while Annabeth and Percy stayed in the living room to watch the kids do some magic.

Things went pretty smoothly for the first thirty minutes or so. Copper was a quick learner. I decided to teach him words the same way Hearth taught me. So after every five words he got right, I taught him a swear word. The same went for Alex as well.

Since I was getting hungry, I decided to see if anyone else in the living room was. If that was the case, I would bake some of the cookie dough I had in the fridge. Nothing beats cookies and milk. Alex and Copper tagged along as well because they were hungry too.

Just as we entered the living room and Copper had asked, "Does anyone want cookies and milk?" a bright light came and hit Alex in the chest. I was at her side in a flash. I place a hand on her. Nothing seemed out of place, so I helped her up to her feet.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked. "I feel fine." My eyes widened. "Excuse me." Alex looked just as shocked but she was still able to answer me back. "I said I'm fine." She quickly clamped a hand over her mouth. I completely lost it right there. Alex was on Helium. She sounded like one of those female chipmunks, from that show, "Alvin and the Chipmunks."

Percy and Annabeth came over. "Is she alright?" Annabeth asked with concern lacing her voice. Alex spoke as angrily as you could after inhaling helium. "I may look alright, but I am most certainly am NOT!" Annabeth was too shocked to laugh but Percy lost it with me this time. It was too good.

Cara and Sky came over with Sky apologizing. "I am so sorry! That wasn't the spell I was trying to do." Alex answered in her helium voice, "its okay. But can you reverse the spell though?" Cara signed, " _Mr. Hearth said runestone magic wears off in a few minutes. This one will wear off in ten minutes or so."_ I thought back at all the spells I had seen Hearth cast. None of them stayed in effect longer than five minutes.

"Okay then." Alex said. "Do any of you want milk and cookies?" Cara, Sky and Percy all raised their hands up. "Okay." I said. "Give me fifteen minutes."

By the time the cookies were placed on the table, Alex had her voice back to normal. By the time everyone had finished their cookies, I had snorted at least five times at the mere thought of Alex on helium. And by the end of it all, Alex had punched me so many times that my arm was badly bruised.

Of course, I was also threatened to be killed as soon as I stepped out on the battle field today.

Copper offered to help me with dishes. After we dropped them off at the sink we came back to see Cara and Sky trying to do another spell. The two were pouring over a spell book while Annabeth and Percy were sitting on the couch.

Annabeth moved over and pulled Alex next to her. They soon started talking about life in general. As for me and Percy, we talked about things he could get for his friends for their next birthdays. That when a bright ball hit us. By us I mean me and Percy.

The light knocked us out. When I woke up again, Annabeth stood over me laughing her ass off. I turned over to look at Alex. She was in no better condition. She was rolling on the floor, trying hard to breath. "What happened?" A few octaves higher than normal. I looked at Percy and I nearly had a heart attack.

Percy turned into a girl.

His short hair had grown into wavy locks that reached the middle of his back. His hips had widened and his figure went from muscular to lean. His chest had grown a bit and his face looked more feminine. Annabeth and Alex managed to utter one word before they lost it again. "Mirror."

So I bolted to the floor length mirror in my bedroom with Percy right behind me. I let out a scream and Percy did too. Since we were both hit by the same light, I had turned into a girl as well. My hair had grown out of the choppy hair cut Blitz gave me in Joutunheim, into bouncy curls. My face didn't look like Curt Kobain anymore. I don't think I looked like any famous person. My body became more slender and of course my chest grew too and my hips got wider. I think I shrank to the same height my mom was as well.

"Why the Hades am I a girl!" Percy screamed.

"You look so beautiful Percy!" Annabeth said from behind. Looking into the mirror I could see she was taking a bunch of videos and pictures. "Say Cheese Maggie!" Alex screamed, taking a photo of my shocked face. You have no idea how awkward that nickname was at the moment. With any luck, this might stay between me, Alex and our other three friends on Floor nineteen. If not, I will be the laughing stock of the hotel for centuries.

Annabeth went and gave Percy a quick kiss on the cheek. "It'll be okay. If the spell doesn't wear off soon, you can always wait until Hearth gets here." Alex came up to me and leaned on me. It was weird how we were roughly the same height. "Annabeth is right. Either the effects go away or Hearth is reversing everything for you.

The girls dragged the two of us back to the living room where Cara, Sky and Copper were waiting. "Heh heh." Sky laughed. "We won't apologize for that. We wanted try that on someone." Cara signed, " _Sorry we didn't ask."_ Percy then asked, "Can you reverse whatever magic trick you pulled though?" Cara replied, " _We should be able too."_

I now had renewed respect for the two elves. I mean, it took Hearth a lot of time to actually learn rune magic, and these kids were better than he was he started. I once remember hearing some grownups talking about how people who learn something at a younger age catch on faster. Maybe that was true. Maybe not.

But before any of them could do anything, they fainted. Annabeth and Percy looked alarmed as they rushed to catch them, but Copper, Alex and I found it normal. Probably because we have been there to carry the unconscious bodies of our wizard friends in various places.

"Alex you get Cara." I said while I went to pick up Sky. "Copper can you get some water from the kitchen?" The little dwarf only sighed and mumbled something about how they lasted longer than last time.

Me and Alex placed them on the sofa and started to explain to effects of rune magic. "The thing about rune magic," Alex said, "Is that it wears down the caster." I recalled the times Hearth had fainted on me back when I just found I was a demigod and my daddy was summer god. "Back then, Hearth could cast like two or three spells before he fainted. He's gotten better now though."

Percy looked super dejected. "You mean I'm stuck like this till Hearth comes back?"

"You mean _we_ are stuck like this till Hearth shows up." I corrected.

Copper soon came back with two glasses of water. I placed one hand on Cara and let the power of Frey flow through me. Her eyes fluttered open and she stirred a bit. Then I moved to Sky and did the same. Sky groaned and asked, "Did I faint again?"

"Yes you did as well as Cara too." Copper answered. Then he asked me, "Why are you glowing?"

While Copper handed them their glasses I answered his question. "Since I am a son of Frey, I start glowing when I heal people." Percy the commented on my glowing abilities "Must be nice to be your own personal night light." Annabeth did me a favour and slapped him upside the head. "He can't help it if he glows!"

I turned to the elves and said, "You guys should rest a while before trying to cast anymore spells. Percy and I can sit tight till you feel better." The two of them nodded before they went back to sleep. "What do you guys want to do till they wake up?" Percy asked.

Annabeth and Alex traded a look before the attacked us.

For the next twenty minutes, Alex and Annabeth were having the time of their lives putting makeup on us and doing our hair. Annabeth did Percy's and Alex did mine. I am surprised Alex even had that much makeup to begin with. "Mallory has trouble putting makeup on so I help her. Her room isn't very safe so she stores most of her makeup stash in my room."

Then she turned to Annabeth and asked, "Hey Ann, red or pink for Maggie dearest here?" Annabeth looked at me and then the lipstick Alex was holding. "Pink for sure. It makes his eyes pop." As for Copper, he was laughing his tiny dwarf butt off and handing the real girls things they couldn't reach from his spot on the couch.

"I feel violated." Percy said while his girlfriend tossed around his new locks of hair.

"I feel the need to hide my shame under my blanket." I said while my friend applied eye shadow on me.

Just so I can preserve what little dignity Percy and I had left, I will not mention the outcome of this makeover session. I'll leave that all to your imagination. Hope you have fun.

After those twenty minutes were up, Cara and Sky woke up and claimed to be feeling better and so they cracked their spell book open. But before they fixed us back to normal, they wanted to try something on Annabeth first.

"Don't worry." Sky said. "We are not turning you into a boy." Since Percy, Alex and I had all had some weird shit done to us, it only made sense that Annabeth feel our pain. Annabeth was about to run away when Alex caught her. "Oh no you don't!" Alex screamed while Percy, Copper and I went and hid in the living room. Annabeth didn't really kick as much as she faked screamed. "Oh, whatever shall I do?!"

I didn't really see what happened but after Copper said it was safe to come out, I find that my cousin and had turned into seven year old. "Awww." Percy cooed as he picked up his tiny girl friend. "Who's a good girl?"

Annabeth looked exactly like she did when she was a seven year old. Her hair was still curly as it ever was. She was about the average height of a typical seven year old and she had freckles on her face. Once she was in his arms, she started screaming and kicking for Percy to put her down.

Percy practically dropped her because she kicked him in the gut. After she hit the ground, she dusted herself off while getting up and then scurried over to Alex. Alex was cackling with joy at the fact Annabeth chose her over Percy. As for me and Copper, we were watching Sky and Cara look through their spell book.

In the next twenty five minutes that followed Annabeth, Percy and I all got turned back to normal. I can't tell you how happy I was to get my old male body back.

After me and Percy were all fixed up, and the elves were trying to fix Annabeth up, they turned Alex into a seven year old as well, though most of it was an accident. So it took us like ten minutes to try and catch her. As a kid, Alex looked like a mini version of herself minus the green hair.

Between you and me, I wasn't really mad at her. Why? She had a crappy childhood with even crappier people. So she probably never had the chance to have a lot of fun like this. She gave Annabeth and Percy a run for their money. That girl was all over the place. I finally caught her after most of the furniture had been over turned. I held her down while the elves did their magic.

The kids soon fell asleep, while the rest of us responsible people were fixing the furniture. "Sorry about this Magnus." Alex apologised sheepishly. "Hey no problem. It could have been worse." I assured her. After we had finished, Blitz and Hearth dropped out of my tree though this time more gracefully.

"WE'RE BACK!" Blitz screamed. The kids fell off the couch from where they were napping. Once the kids had surrounded them, Hearth asked me, " _They didn't cause too much trouble, did they?"_ I shook my head and replied, "They were very well behaved. Cara and Sky are gonna learn a lot if they have you as their teacher." Blitz smiled. "That's what I've been telling him." I offered to drop everyone home because, you know, I have a magic sword that can drop me off anywhere in the nine worlds.

I dropped Blitz, Heath and their kids off at Blitz's store. _Their kids_. I made that sound like they're married. After that I dropped Percy and Annabeth somewhere on Long Island Sound. Then I came back to my suite to find Alex passed out on the couch. Since when did Alex look so cute when she sleeps?

We still had about half an hour before we were gonna be called on to the battle field. I was so tired after all that running around and babysitting that I went and got my alarm clock, set the alarm and curled up beside Alex. I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her face into my chest.

Let's just say when she woke up, Alex was embarrassed beyond measure.

So, yeah. I guess you can say that's what happened.

 **Hope everyone likes this one shot. This just might be my best story yet!**


End file.
